Planet Crypto: Gary Gensler denies overreaching and demands to be allowed to ‘get on with becoming the King of England!’

By Darren Parkin

The crayon comedians at Planet Crypto have been having some fun at Gary Gensler’s expense this week. But remember, it’s just a bit of fun…

Is Gary Gensler, the Chair of the SEC, constantly over-reaching his jurisdiction?

The World of Crypto thinks so.

But Gensler himself has reacted angrily to the accusations…

“I haven’t time to deal with this rubbish. This is just a flimsy effort by my crypto critics to derail my efforts to be crowned King of England next week!” he screamed.

“It’s an incredibly busy time, preparing for my coronation; there are crowns to polish and abbeys to hoover. And once again crypto has shown contempt for my authority by causing a stir at this time.”

When it was pointed out that ‘being King of England’ was not part of his job description, he sneered “Some say that the heir to the throne must be the monarch’s eldest son; some say that he must pull a sword out of a stone; and others* say that ‘The Head of the SEC must inherit the throne’, so I am being coronated on May 6.’’

It’s a puzzling assertion, especially as it seems that Queen Elizabeth II had never been the Chair of the Securities and Exchange Commission.

“Are you sure about that?” scoffed Gensler.

“Back in the 40s, when Elizabeth took the throne, the Chair of the SEC was a much less high-profile post. She could easily have been my predecessor, and nobody would have noticed.”

And he had this scathing rebuff for his critics…

“I am accused of over-reaching: but it’s my critics who are overreaching. For, as the right-wise appointed King of England, I am appointed by God. So who are the ‘critics’ to question?”

Does he worry that the British people might not accept him as their new king?

“The British people are rife with non-compliance,” he snorted.

“Their resistance is an insult to the American people, whom I represent in my self-appointed role as President.”

* ‘others’ = me and my cat.

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