The Crown Jewels play, review: Even Al Murray’s Pub Landlord can’t save this mess

By Adam Bloodworth

The Crown Jewels review and star rating:

Al Murray made a career out of playing a working class pub landlord, but it turns out he’s funnier, and certainly more natural, playing a Hooray Henry. In The Crown Jewels Murray is King Charles II, and he’s royally good at it, gesticulating about the place and growling out his words with disdain, like the aristos do. He delivers his catchphrase, “so funnnneeeh” in the way only an actor who went to Oxbridge could. Why isn’t he playing toffs more?

It’s the only really energising thing about this new piece of writing by Men Behaving Badly creator Simon Nye, in an anotherwise underpowered show that doesn’t always know what to do with its frankly OTT cast of celebrity stars.

The Crown Jewels is based on a true story about a time during Charles’ reign when one Parliamentarian rebel robbed the crown jewels. Neil Morrissey from Men Behaving Badly and Joe Thomas from The Inbetweeners lead the rebel pack in the first act, alongside ringleader Colonel Blood, played by Aidan McArdle, as they infiltrate the king’s castle and charm him to get access to the jewels.

There are some clangers in the script early on, and director Sean Foley doesn’t always know where to place, or what to do with, his gaggle of A-Listers in terms of delivery. They often seem to just be hanging around on stage without much purpose in a first act that is slow off the starting block.

None of this talented troupe are really given enough time to workshop their characters; Thomas and Morrissey both feel underused, with Thomas thrown only the odd line. The plot, and look of the stages, often feel pantomime, and lack the energy or mishap needed.

Before act 1 is out, Murray saves the day with a hilarious delivery as king, engaging brilliantly with the audience. He does some decent acting too when the stealing jewel bit happens, and he’s got the best comic relief in the form of his submissive courtier sidekick, but it’s not enough against a meandering plot that, especially in act 2, feels like it slowly extinguishes itself.

Mel Giedroyc is another saving grace as both a French noblewoman and a British maid, decently careering between the two with the knowing smile that shows she’s in on the joke. Carrie Hope Fletcher, also in dual roles, feels underused like Morrissey, but belts encouragingly every ten minutes or so, even if it all feels a bit incongruous.

They might offer the audience plates of swan, but that’s about the richest part of this comedy that feels too light on laughs and vibe to ever really get going.

The Crown Jewels plays at the Garrick Theatre until 16 September; tickets available here