Britney Spears believes her father, Jamie Spears, saw her as his cash cow.
In an excerpt from her upcoming memoir, The Woman in Me, the superstar explained what went down during her 13-year conservatorship, which Jamie was in control of.
The mom-of-two, 41, said she was "too sick to choose my own boyfriend and yet somehow healthy enough to appear on sitcoms and morning shows, and to perform for thousands of people in a different part of the world every week."
"From that point on, I began to think that he saw me as put on the earth for no other reason than to help their cash flow," she recalled of Jamie, 71, taking over her life in 2008.
Jamie became so high off of power and money that he once told his daughter, "I'm Britney Spears now."
The "Toxic" vocalist also claimed that her dad body shamed her throughout her career, writing, "He repeatedly told me I looked fat and that I was going to have to do something about it."
"I’d been eyeballed so much growing up. I’d been looked up and down, had people telling me what they thought of my body, since I was a teenager. Shaving my head and acting out were my ways of pushing back," said Britney. "But under the conservatorship I was made to understand that those days were now over. I had to grow my hair out and get back into shape. I had to go to bed early and take whatever medication they told me to take."
"Feeling like you’re never good enough is a soul-crushing state of being for a child. He’d drummed that message into me as a girl, and even after I’d accomplished so much, he was continuing to do that to me," the "Gimme More" crooner wrote of her dad in the book.
While Britney used to love singing and dancing, the way she was forced to work during the conservatorship made her lose her passion.
"I became a robot. But not just a robot — a sort of child-robot. I had been so infantilized that I was losing pieces of what made me feel like myself," the blonde beauty added. "The conservatorship stripped me of my womanhood, made me into a child. I became more of an entity than a person onstage. I had always felt music in my bones and my blood; they stole that from me."
Never miss a story — sign up for the OK! newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what OK! has to offer. It’s gossip too good to wait for!
"This is what’s hard to explain, how quickly I could vacillate between being a little girl and being a teenager and being a woman, because of the way they had robbed me of my freedom," Britney shared. "There was no way to behave like an adult, since they wouldn’t treat me like an adult, so I would regress and act like a little girl; but then my adult self would step back in — only my world didn’t allow me to be an adult."
New York Times obtained the excerpt of Britney's memoir.
