DEAR AMY: My question certainly isn’t life-threatening, but it is driving me nuts.
I was married for 10 years, divorced for 13, and happily remarried for seven.
My first marriage was annulled after the divorce.
Recently, my wife found my old wedding ring while cleaning out a junk drawer. I thought it had gone missing years ago.
I told her I didn’t want it and said that we needed to get rid of it.
She says I should take it to a pawn shop.
I have two great sons out of my first marriage, but other than that, the ring represents 10 years of acrimony and chaos.
I’m a non-practicing Catholic, but symbolism is still important to me, so I cannot see putting the ring back into circulation.
I wanted to hire a Hobbit to schlep the ring across Mordor and toss it into the Lake of Fire. My wife says we cannot afford a Hobbit and so I need to come up with another plan.
What is the best way to take care of this?
– Superstitious
DEAR SUPERSTITIOUS: I love the idea of a Hobbit-for-hire, who could take all of the material things which bring on feelings of shame or sadness and cart them off to the Lake of Fire. (Or to Frodo’s Pawn Shoppe at the Shire strip mall.)
(And while I am probably short enough to apply for the Hobbit job, I identify more in the Elfen category.)
You and your wife might think of a deeply symbolic act that would transform this ring into something else – perhaps by melting it down and having a charm made. But that’s expensive and time-consuming.
I like the idea of throwing your ring into the creek. Give it a mighty fling. I did that once, and it certainly worked for me.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
