Leah Remini opened up about the state of her mental health in a vulnerable message shared to X, formerly known as Twitter, earlier this week.
The former Scientologist — who escaped the church in 2013 and has since been outspoken about alleged scandals and abuse that she suffered while a part of the organization — revealed she's been working hard to step outside of her comfort zone despite suffering depression and anxiety.
"I have been doing something unfamiliar and uncomfortable lately: saying yes instead of no to opportunities that involve leaving my home and venturing into the world," she wrote on Monday, February 12. "This is a big deal for me because, in recent years, I have said 'no' to a lot, from invitations to go out with friends to attending events and traveling." "As some of you know, since I escaped from Scientology in 2013, I have been followed constantly by Scientology operatives and agents," the King of Queens star continued. "These people hide in the shadows to monitor my movements and who I am meeting with so they can report back to Scientology's intelligence agency, the Office of Special Affairs, which reports directly to David Miscavige."
She explained these alleged operatives "snap unflattering pictures" and "body shame" her by using the photos in smear campaigns that call her a bigot in attempts to break her down.
"They hope will have an impact on me psychologically but also on people who are in my life or might consider being in my life," she noted. "Scientology has gone from those tactics, which are bad enough, to hiring vulnerable people living with severe mental illness to harass and intimidate me."
Remini also claimed the church has asked people to break into her gated community and put herself, her friends, her family and her employers in danger.
"It is a constant struggle to push myself to experience my life," she admitted candidly. "I will have a good day and think to myself, 'OK, tomorrow I'm going to continue to do things that I want to do,' and then depression takes over."
"I get consumed by fear and find every reason not to go. I have to fight this in myself every day," she shared. "The process starts all over again from the moment I wake up; I want to get out; I want to experience so many things, including the mundane, and most days, I don't."
Remini revealed a "big win" for her would be visiting a friend or playing cards with her mother. She also said she "quietly celebrates" following through on those types of mundane plans.
"Given my depression and very warranted fears of being hunted, as well as my concerns for my friends' safety, it's a big thing to overcome," she said. "I wanted to share what I've been going through because if any of you feel this way, whether it's depression, anxiety, or any other reason, I understand. While our experiences may not be the same, the manifestation of what we are facing is similar."
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"If you've read this far, thank you," she added, nearing the conclusion of the lengthy post. "I wrote this because I often feel very alone in experiencing it, and in writing about this and sharing it publicly, I hope to feel less isolated and hope that I can make some of you feel the same."
