A woman says her marriage was ultimately saved by her husband having an affair over a decade ago.
Matt, who works at a church, told People that his infidelity began when he and a woman he knew from the church started texting each other.
“There comes a time when you cross the line and then start rationalizing it. But once you cross the line sexually, you think you have screwed up too bad to be a good husband, and you walk away,” Matt told People.
He and his wife Charity were separated for six months before they decided to try to make their marriage work.
On Valentine’s Day in 2013, the married couple went on their first date following Matt’s affair.
“It was awkward, but it was part of a healing process. You can’t expect things to go back to the way they were. And I didn’t want things to go back, and neither did she,” Matt shared.
The couple were ultimately able to move past his affair, something which Charity credits with strengthening their bond.
“It dawned on me he’s not my enemy. We’re both just humans with deep wounds, and that’s where we started healing,” Charity, who now works as a marriage coach, told People.
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Charity explained that being hyper-focused on “the other woman” would have hindered her ability to move forward.
“Affairs don’t happen in a vacuum. Once you heal yourself and your marriage, 10,000 women can walk past my husband, and he’s not going to blink an eye because he’s not looking for an escape,” she said.
Charity added that her friends and family members were “more hurt and betrayed” than she was by Matt’s infidelity.
“People hate seeing how broken and shattered you are,” she shared.
“You want life to be perfect, but life is life and people are people. You are going to run into the same issues when you run from yourself,” Matt added.
Now, more than 10 years later, the affair is just a thing of the past.
“We talk about the affair in a more retrospective way now. We’ve actually been married longer after the affair than before it,” Matt told People.
