DEAR ABBY: My husband speaks to his mom every morning. For the past couple of months, her health has been failing, and she spends most of her days in the hospital having an extremely tough time. Hearing his mom suffer daily is affecting my husband’s mental health. It sets the tone for the whole day, and I spend my mornings trying to cheer him up.
How do I tell him these daily conversations with his mom are starting to affect my mornings? Even the dog has begun showing signs of depression. Would I be selfish to suggest he needs to talk to her at a different time or maybe on fewer days? -- BYSTANDER IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR BYSTANDER: Your husband may not have much longer to talk with his very ill mother, so I don’t recommend you approach the subject that way. What I do suggest is that you tell your husband how much you love him, and that you can see and feel his distress over her condition. Then suggest he talk with a mental health professional who can help him work this through, because you can see how much pain this is causing him. Then cross your fingers and hope he will realize how much he needs it.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
