DEAR ABBY: I have four sisters. I have felt like the “odd one out” my entire life, and they know it. They gossip about me and my children at every opportunity. They are all financially well off. I am not. They take trips and get together frequently, but don’t include me because they think I can’t afford it. When I have made my feelings known, they say I’m “too sensitive” and a “drama queen.”
I told them they don’t have the right to look down on me and judge. How can I get them to stop being so superior and accept me and my children? I have been a widow for five years after a long and abusive marriage. They accuse me of exaggerating the mental and emotional abuse I experienced. How can I make them understand? -- EXCLUDED SIS IN NEBRASKA
DEAR SIS: You wrote that you have felt like the odd one out your entire life, and your sisters know it. You also stated that they travel together without including you because they think you can’t afford it. If that’s true, do you think they should have paid your fare? If you do, it’s presumptuous.
After a long and abusive marriage you must feel like you have been let out of jail. For your sisters to dismiss what you experienced as exaggeration is insensitive and cruel. Because you aren’t going to change them, eliminate them from your life. They may be unwilling or unable to give you the inclusion and acceptance you seek from them.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
