By Heather Main
Brandishing a toy dinosaur, three-year-old Emmie Hannigan throws back her head and roars. RAF veteran Ian Wheelton, 84, clutching a stegosaurus, roars back and Emmie, squealing with delight, throws herself into his arms. They could be mistaken for grandad and grandchild.
But Emmie and Ian are in fact “grand-friends” at Belong Chester, a pioneering integrated care home and nursery where the generational mix helps old and young. Children’s speech, confidence and general knowledge is boosted by time with their grand-friends.
For the older people – who live in self-contained or shared apartments in the building, many having varying degrees of dementia – the children’s zest for life helps them keep a sense of self and purpose. Belong Chester opened in July 2022 and has a months-long waiting list of people desperate to join the “family” of 60 children and 75 adults. It is the UK’s first such site and the subject of nine university studies on everything from dementia to child development.
It is the brainchild of nursery owner Liz Ludden and teacher-turned civil servant Sue Egersdorff, who partnered with Belong after working with the care home chain for years on research. Liz says: “We’re always told, ‘What you’re doing is so lovely’. But it’s life-changing. Everybody needs a sense of purpose and to feel appreciated – regardless of age. Lots of the kids don’t live near grandparents. The older people often arrive in the saddest situations. Here, they have a chance to be part of a real family again.”
Northumbria University’s Dr Kay Heslop calls it “an incredible concept”, adding: “Not only do old and young help deliver new knowledge to each other but the relationships are key to older people ‘re-learning’ – being reminded of something they used to do or know. It is clear to see the joy on the faces of old and young.”
When we visit, the bond between old and young is clear. A boy runs to greet his older pal with a fist bump. Ralph Barnes, 68, is holding court with youngsters who have a load of bright feathers. When their backs are turned, he sneaks them into his hat, causing hilarity. Nearby, a child cuddles up with a lady in her 80s for a story.
Frailties such as dementia do not concern the kids, who just see the older people as friends. Sue says: “Some residents are non-verbal but so are some children. They find a way to communicate that is not strange to them.” For older kids, chatting with their grand-friends boosts language skills. Sue says: “One girl came from abroad with very little English. After a few weeks, she was pretty much bilingual and teaching her parents.”
A packed schedule brings young and old together, including in choir sessions and at a gardening club. A beautiful chorus of Que Sera, Sera filling the corridors is followed by the children teaching the care home residents the actions to Ram Sam Sam. Friends grow herbs, used in cookery lessons. Each afternoon, everyone is invited on a “pramble” – a gentle walk, or push, along the nearby canal.
But the kids’ curriculum is flexible, so residents can lead learning. One day, the chat will be about birds, on another an elderly lady may teach children to make shortbread. Sue says a resident who loved fixing things wanted to share that. “We thought, ‘Can we really give a power tool to a toddler – or a 90-year-old?’ Then we thought, ‘Why not?’ It has been brilliant for them all.”
Belong Chester is a not-for-profit venture but is not cheap. An apartment begins at £1,530 a week and nursery places are £59 a day. But its informality is a big draw. Uniforms are out, so staff and visitors look similar. Doreen, 87, is enjoying lunch with two-year-old Odin. She says: “I love living here. The happiest time of my life was when my children were young. My grandchildren are all over the country. Here, I relive my happiest moments. It’s so precious.”
Belong is good for the older people’s physical health, too. They are encouraged to join the kids’ weekly “dough disco”, a Play-Doh based dance class. Belong chief executive Sue Goldsmith says: “They often don’t appreciate rehabilitation exercises. They’ll say, ‘Bugger that’. But give them Play-Doh with the kids and they spend hours playing with them, strengthening their own muscles.”
But what happens when a grand-friend dies? Liz says: “We work with Child Bereavement UK but children deserve to understand the cycle of life. They notice the physical and mental deterioration and sometimes they die. It’s been more difficult for the older people coping with the children leaving for school. They miss them – although lots come back to visit.”
The Belong Chester team now want their model rolled out. Liz says: “Why stop at nurseries? I’d love to see care homes integrated with schools, universities even. Imagine the change we’d see in society if we all just spent a little more time understanding each other.”
Mike Hannigan’s daughter Emmie, three, has been going to Belong’s nursery since it opened.
He says: “The difference in Emmie’s nursery experience to that of her older siblings is unbelievable, especially in how she interacts with her grandparents. She’s so confident, looks them in the eye and makes conversation with them as her peers. She talks about friends her own age and her grand-friend. We often don’t know if the person she’s talking about is three or 83.”
Mike recalled Emmie’s grand-friend Diane showing the kids how to sew an ear back on his daughter’s favourite teddy after it was torn off. He says: “They have a really special bond. There will definitely be tears when she leaves the nursery for school in September – mostly from me.”