DEAR MISS MANNERS: Twice, now, I have become an accidental intruder on a couple’s proposal during my regular walking excursions (after work and on weekends).
The first occurred on the campus of the university where I am employed, near a pad-mounted transformer and busy roundabout. I was willing to chalk my unfortunate presence up to his poor choice of venue. The second, however, occurred in a public park near an admittedly picturesque waterfall.
On both occasions, I elected to politely avert my eyes and move along as hurriedly as possible without becoming a distraction, and to minimize any chances of accidental photobombing.
As this happenstance teeters dangerously on the edge of becoming a pattern, though, I thought it prudent to request a professional opinion: When such an intimate moment is made a public spectacle, what is the mannerly course of action for passersby? Was I correct in my choice to look away and swiftly move on? Should I instead stop and wait for them to finish before proceeding, or return in the direction from which I came?
Or, God forbid, am I obligated to offer my congratulations (or, I suppose, condolences, as the case may be) to these total strangers? Any thoughts are appreciated.
GENTLE READER: Some thoughts might be: Why are they making a public spectacle of themselves? Wouldn’t such an important intimate moment be best savored in private between the two of them? Doesn’t photographing the moment inspire them to perform roles instead of reacting naturally? Do they believe that video will not provoke ridicule in any future children they might have?
Oh, well. Miss Manners realizes how difficult it would be nowadays to convince people that real life is more rewarding than a dramatized version.
So, yes -- as much as you can, keep out of the way and out of photo range. And while a cheery “Congratulations!” would be fine if you feel so inclined, it is not obligatory. You have not been hired as an extra in these public dramas.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
