DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are planning a cruise to celebrate our 30th wedding anniversary as well as his retirement next year. We invited my brother and his wife, “Rita,” to join us. Because my brother has always wanted to visit our cruise destination, they accepted.
Rita then shared our cruise plans with her brother and his wife, “Jewel.” Jewel expressed interest in the destination and said she wouldn’t mind going. In response, Rita welcomed them to join us! When I was told this, Rita said her brother doesn’t like cruises and probably wouldn’t want to go, so I just let it go. Still, I am annoyed at her presumptuousness.
Am I wrong to feel the way I do about her inviting her family without first asking if it was okay with me and my husband? Rita did say she was sorry for inviting them, but I’m still annoyed. I love my brother and sister-in-law, and I’d hate to cause family drama. I’d welcome your thoughts. -- CRUISING IN HAWAII
DEAR CRUISING: I agree that what Rita did was presumptuous. It was also thoughtless. She did not have the right to invite anyone along on your holiday. IF Jewel tells Rita that she and her husband HAVE decided to come, it will then be Rita’s responsibility to straighten the matter out by rescinding the invitation, and you should “sweetly” make that clear to her.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
