Ask Pulse is a weekly advice column, a listening ear to help you sort through your relationship issues, workplace drama, family problems, and whatever is bothering you.
This week, Ayomide is asking if her boyfriend will break up with her since his friends are pressuring him to do so.
Dear Pulse,
Over the Easter break, I went to see my boyfriend, who lives in Kwara, I live in Ife. We recently started dating, and our relationship has been long-distance. I was so happy to see him because we had barely seen each other since the relationship started, and he had been busy with work.
It was nice spending time with him, and we had a lot of fun together. One day, I left my phone in his room to cook. When I got back, I noticed his demeanour had changed. He asked me who Jide was. That was when I knew I was in trouble. I said he was just a friend, and then he asked why I was sending nudes and talking sexually with him.
I had been single for over two years before this relationship began, so it hasn’t been easy cutting off the men I was talking to sexually over the phone, and the long distance doesn’t help.
I told him he was just a friend and that it meant nothing. I begged for forgiveness and told him it wouldn’t happen again. Guess what? My boyfriend forgave me, and I was very happy.
The only problem is that my boyfriend told his friends; he even showed them the chats. They have been pressuring him to break up with me. I feel unsettled; do you think my boyfriend will break up with me because of them?
Dear Ayomide,
Getting caught sending sexual messages to other people when you are in a relationship can cause a rift, but remember that a relationship is between two people, just you and your boyfriend, not his friends. They are only looking after their friend, and they can only advise, but they can’t decide what happens.
Do you think your boyfriend is controlled by his friends? If not, you have nothing to worry about. It’s good that he has decided to forgive you, but now you must earn his trust, and that’s no easy feat. It is time to rebuild a relationship. Start by being entirely open with him. Tell him where you are and what you are doing at all times, with picture evidence. Also, cut off the men you’ve been chatting with and block them if possible. I wish you all the best.
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