DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have a relative whom we always invite when we host dinner parties, whether it’s for a holiday or just for fun. She always replies that she’d be happy to attend.
My issue is that she doesn’t eat our meals. She will place small amounts of food on her plate and maybe eat half of it. Her excuse is always that she’s just not hungry at the moment. She behaves this way at the homes of other relatives, too. However, if we go to restaurants, she eats everything she orders.
I personally feel insulted when I prepare a meal and she doesn’t eat it. I think she’s being rude to accept dinner invitations and then never eat the meal.
GENTLE READER: Actually, your relative is being extremely polite in not making a fuss about her obvious -- to Miss Manners, anyway -- food restrictions.
Nowadays, it is both useful and customary to ask prospective guests if they have any such limitations. In the case of a regular visitor, it seems rude to watch her struggling with her problem and make no attempt to fix it -- and to take insult when she is making such an effort to avoid just that.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
