While Savannah Chrisley has been holding her family together throughout her parents' legal troubles — even she needs to cry it out sometimes!
During a recent episode of her "Unlocked" podcast, the 26-year-old opened up about her influx of emotions leading up to Todd and Julie Chrisley's oral arguments hearing, which took place on Friday, April 19.
"We went to Atlanta Thursday night and it was a rough one. It was such a rough night," Savannah admitting, explaining: "Some things had happened, some drama had occurred and on top of everything else that I'm dealing with and then this trial and this hearing, it was so much for me to deal with."
The podcast host confessed, "I literally just broke down."
"I think I broke down one other time like this since mom and dad left 15 months ago, and it was so tough for me," Savannah continued of how she's handled her mental health since her parents were locked up for committing fraud and tax evasion. "There was just some PTSD and some triggers that occurred that really just sent me into a tailspin and I just broke down. I was sitting on the bathroom floor, hysterically in tears with [friend] Aaron, with [hairstylist] Tyler and with [boyfriend] Robert [Shiver]."
"But, I needed it," she noted. "I know my body needed it and I have to get better at listening to my body and what my body needs because it's okay to break down. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel all the emotions but for so long, I have tried to convince myself like I'm stronger than my emotions. I'm stronger than what I've been through."
Still, Savannah struggles to allow herself a moment to essentially grieve her parents' absence while attempting to remain hopeful about their ongoing appeal attempt.
"I don't cry. Like who cries? I don't. Joke is on me because it all just came flooding out and dealing with trauma of my past, I've realized that I haven't done a great job," she stated.
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"I have done so much therapy and I thought like, 'Okay, I'm okay.' When in reality, I'm still struggling with it," Savannah mentioned. "And I think that's just a lesson to myself — and hopefully that I can teach others — is just because you go through something hard, and you do therapy and you talk about it, it doesn't mean that you have to be healed. It doesn't mean that you have to forget about it. It doesn't mean that you just have to move forward and ignore your hurt because I think that's how I've lived."
Looking back, Savannah said, "that's kind of how I lived my whole life. It's just like I have to move forward. I have to be successful. I have to prove to people certain things."
Now, the blonde beauty tries to remind herself she is "worthy of success that comes my way, that I'm worthy of love that comes my way, that I'm worthy of great friends that come my way."
After having a sob session and getting a "good solid 30 minutes of sleep," Savannah still did what she needed to do.
"I got up, I got ready, I put a smile on my face, I threw on my suit like a boss and I headed towards that courtroom," the Growing Up Chrisley star recalled.
"I had all my friends and all the people I love and family beside me [and] that just made me so grateful for that moment because at the end of the day, family doesn't have to be blood and I know so many people are listening that have deep-rooted family issues or strains and relationships and you feel an immense level of loss and so many different things," Savannah shared. "But, you have to figure out how to turn that into something good."
"And what I've realized is sure, certain family members may suck and I don't have to consider them family. But I do know that God puts people in my life to replace those people. God has put great friends in my life that are not friends, their family and that's what I'm grateful for. So family isn't blood, family is what you make it and the people that showed up for me in court, I will never forget," Savannah concluded.