Bethenny Frankel has spoken out on her mother, Bernadette Birk’s, death on her podcast. The former Real Housewives star feels her mom “wasn’t held accountable” for how her childhood played out.
She announced the death of her mother on April 20, and has since spoken out on her difficult upbringing. Bethenny Frankel explains how she only had one week with just her mother, as she was “gone a lot”.
WARNING: Content of a disturbing nature ahead
Bethenny Frankel’s mother dies
On April 20, Bethenny Frankel shared several photos of herself with her mom Bernadette Birk, announcing her tragic passing. “My mother has died of lung cancer,” Frankel shared in her statement.
The reality TV star said: “She was complex, in pain, isolated and had demons.” Since then, Bethenny has opened up about her difficult relationship with her mother, who had a “lifelong eating disorder”.
Bethenny said on her Just B With Bethenny podcast her mother would be out until all hours of the night, which is why her stepfather, John, looked after her, as Bernadette “really wasn’t around much.”
“The emotional accident I’ve been in since this news on Friday is nothing like I expected. I thought the divorce was the most traumatic experience, this has been the most unexpected release I’ve had,” she said.
Bethenny added, “My mother was so breathtakingly beautiful, I wanted so much more from her. I got tiny glimpses. Everyone was in love with her.” She later said her mom “relied on men for financial support”.
Her mother took her to Greece, Turkey, Rome, London, Egypt and Paris for the only time they had a week together. She now reflects and says, “I wish I could have found a way to connect with her later in life.”
“I thought one day she’d pass and it would be like nothing happened. Every time I meet someone, it’s like they’re going to judge my childhood, as they’re like, ‘Why doesn’t she speak to her parents’?” she added.
Bethenny talks traumatic childhood
Bethenny would often call the police when her mom and stepfather would fight at her childhood home. “We ate off a card table,” she revealed, adding how there was “a lot of abuse in house”.
She have friends over for sleepovers but that “everyone would have to go home” after her family would have a “horrific fight”. As Bethenny grew older, she says her mom helped her find an apartment.
“She did do nice things. She wrote me letters and was excited we were going to have holidays together. I don’t want to make it like she didn’t love me because she was so hilarious and so wild,” she added.
Bethenny said she only read these letters recently, where her mom says she “was the light and love of her life” and “was more like the mother than the daughter,” as well as being the “only one who knows her”.
When it came to Bethenny’s wedding, The Real Housewives of New York City star claims her mom was “mean” and “criticized her ring,” before saying she wanted to sit in traffic instead of going to her bridal shower.
If you or someone you know needs support, there are many eating disorder helplines in the UK here to help. Beat can be contacted at 0808 801 0677 while Mind’s contact number is 0300 123 3393.If you are based in the USA, you can call NEDA on (800) 931-2237.
You can call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233. You can also find more information, resources, and support at their website. For the UK, you can visit the Refuge website, or Women’s Aid.
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