Billie Eilish's career has been a striking success story, but it doesn't seem like the spotlight has had a positive impact on her mental health.
The singer sat down for an extensive interview with Rolling Stone ahead of her new album Hit Me Hard and Soft, which is due out on Friday, May 17.
The article includes a brief entry from Eilish's personal journal which says, "I know I’m lucky/But I’m so unhappy." The feeling is not a new one for her.
"My whole life, I’ve never been a happy person," Eilish told the outlet. "I’ve been a joyous person, but not a happy person. I experience joy and laughter and I can find fun in things, but I’m a depressed person."
The pop star added that she also experiences a lot of fear.
"For a f--king good reason," she said. "I’m afraid of people, I’m afraid of the world. It’s just scary for somebody like me, and even if it’s not scary, it means being on and being vulnerable and being seen and being filmed and whatever."
Eilish said support from her family and friends has been a lifeline. She added that her efforts to live a relatively normal life have been grounding. That includes trips to Chipotle and the grocery store.
The singer doesn't feel she's in a good position to be an ambassador for mental health awareness.
"I think it’s really weird when you are in the middle of something and somebody asks you to be the advocate for the thing you’re in the middle of," she said.
"I understand that it’s important, and I understand that it’s an epidemic and it needs to be talked about, but I don’t want to fucking be the role model for depression. What happens when I do some s--t y’all aren’t going to like?"
Eilish also spoke about her sexuality. The topic came up during a red carpet interview with Variety last year. The star shared that she's bisexual, but later said that she felt the question was inappropriate.
"Thanks Variety for my award and for also outing me on a red carpet at 11 am instead of talking about anything else that matters," Eilish said in an Instagram post. "I like boys and girls leave me alone about it please literally who cares."
But in the Rolling Stone interview, the singer said that she "overreacted" to the situation.
"Who f--king cares?" she said. "The whole world suddenly decided who I was, and I didn’t get to say anything or control any of it. Nobody should be pressured into being one thing or the other, and I think that there’s a lot of wanting labels all over the place."
Never miss a story — sign up for the Q newsletter for the latest music news on all your favorite artists, all in one place.
Eilish won't be releasing any singles ahead of Hit Me Hard and Soft. Like all of her music, the album was a collaboration with her brother Finneas O'Connell.
The pair wrote the hit track "What Was I Made For?" which appeared on the Barbie movie soundtrack last year. It ended up winning Song of the Year at the 2024 Grammys and Best Original Song at the Oscars.
Check out the full tracklist for Hit Me Hard and Soft below: