DEAR ANNIE: I’ve always disliked house parties. During the first ones I’d been invited to, I had to leave early due to the loud music, vulgar dancing and drunk classmates -- an environment that would only make me feel anxious, disgusted and sick.
I thought this feeling would wear off and I’d eventually be able to integrate and have fun just like everyone else. However, after attending a couple more, I came to the realization that it’s just not my thing and that I like to have fun in other ways. So, I began declining all house party invites with silly excuses or anything that I could come up with.
Because of that, I earned the reputation of being a boring and wearisome person, and that I hated everybody and didn’t want to spend time with them, which is not true.
My high school days are over, and I am about to begin university. I know I will be invited to parties in the coming months. What would be a more assertive and confident way to decline all these invites? -- ‘Boring’ Student in South America
DEAR ‘BORING’: Embrace what makes you comfortable. A simple “No, thanks, that’s not really my scene” is honest and assertive. Suggest an alternative way to hang out that aligns with your interests. This shows you’re open to socializing on your terms and helps others understand your preferences without having to make excuses or get caught up in a lie. Your university years can be a fresh start to find like-minded friends who respect your idea of fun.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
