A dating coach explained her approach to keeping a conversation moving with a date to avoid the dreaded smalltalk portion of the evening.
Though getting to know your potential partner is a vital part of any fledgling relationship, 58% of Americans are opposed to the act of smalltalk. Thankfully, there is a method that allows you to keep the conversation rolling without reverting to questions about their childhood pet.
How to keep a conversation going
Dating coach Genny (@datingcoachdiehl) boasts nearly 80k followers on TikTok where she usually posts content around the world of relationships and dating apps like Hinge.
In her video, Genny urged daters to “introduce a third thing” into the conversation when you want to learn more about your date without veering into smalltalk.
“Essentially it is bonding with a person over that third thing,” she explained. “Whether it’s an opinion, a TikTok, an observation, a hot take. If you don’t have ADHD you probably can’t just say some random distraction that came into your mind.”
She continued: “So instead, make up a story about some random people that happen to be in the same cafe as you. Let’s say the smalltalk is running dry, start asking for opinion questions.
“Did you like it? What was your favorite part? Anything to spark up an opinion as people love to feel like their opinions matter and by asking about them you are demonstrating that you care.”
Smalltalk is the enemy
Though most of Genny’s followers had their own version of smalltalk avoidance, it was clear that most people hated the conversation tactic almost as much as first dates.
One fan admitted: “How come with certain people it just flows naturally? It’s gotten to the point that if the conversation is not flowing naturally in two days, I’m cutting them off.”
“The best part about one person I met and am close with now was we didn’t need small talk or help convo going it was just so natural from the beginning,” another person wrote.
A third said: “I’m the absolute master of bringing random topics. The problem is sometimes they’re too random cuz I have zero social awareness.”
