When Luca went for a quiet drink in the pub with his husband Matt he didn’t expect it to end in another punter telling him: “I hope you die of AIDS”.
But sadly it’s just one of the many incidents of homophobic abuse targeted at members of the LGBTQ+ community in Kent, who fear people shouting slurs, harassing them and even stalking them around shopping malls.
It’s also why a new support group has been launched to help those who have been the victims of such “horrible” hate crimes.
The network founded by friends Luca Zanetti-Springett, Christopher Peter and Craig Stevens will aim to create “safe spaces” for members across Tunbridge Wells, Tonbridge and Maidstone.
Speaking of its importance, Luca, 35 told KentOnline: “My husband and I didn't really have that many gay friends so we were looking for some sort of community.
“We were looking at what is out there just so we can go to a bar or whatnot and be ourselves because it can be a little bit of a weird situation.”
The Tunbridge Wells resident says he was a victim of homophobia when he and his partner were at their local pub.
He said: “There was a person there - he's been going there for many years and for some reason one night he decided to start picking on me.”
Luca recalled it began with the man saying that he didn’t like him, asking him inappropriate questions, and telling him that his father hadn’t educated him.
The man continued, getting louder, so his husband stepped in and told the man to go away and stop it.
“Then altercations happened and I think he said something really nasty and my husband kind of knocked his Guinness over on his lap,” Luca added.
“Then he turned around and said ‘I hope you die of AIDS’.
“I've got thick skin but things like that for the people in the community that have passed away from HIV and AIDS, that's not fair - for the ones that have lost loved ones.
“It was wrong on so many levels it didn't just disrespect me, not only the LGBTQ+ community but even the heterosexual community that has passed away from AIDS.
“It was horrible and I still see him.”
But, it’s not just Luca.
Co-founder Chris, who lives in Barming, has also been a victim of physical violence because of his sexuality.
The 37-year-old said: “It was Boxing Day and I went to Bluewater, I was shopping and I felt an arm on my back.
“As I turned around, it was a man holding a nine-month-old and he head-butted me and as he did, he called me a p**f.
Chris fell to the floor and a lady rang the police. Officers on-site at the shopping centre shortly arrived at the scene.
But, to his surprise, they initially tried to arrest him.
“They said that I was harassing him and then I asked them to look at the video cameras.
“Apparently from the moment I walked into the store and went upstairs, he was actually stalking me the whole way around the shop.
“He was choosing his opportunity to attack me.”
The man was arrested after but Chris decided not to press charges as he just wanted to draw a line under the incident.
But despite the traumatic experience he is keen others like him don’t feel alone.
“It's important that we create this group for these types of reasons and it's important that people don't feel lonely because it can be quite a lonely life,” said Chris.
Luca added: “Not everybody has homophobic encounters but it happens more than you think.
“Even if it's just someone shouting from the other side of the road, it can hit hard for certain people.”
But the group isn’t just for those to share their hardships. For some, it is a much-needed support network in other ways.
Chris added: “It's really important to our community - especially someone like me. You know I lost my husband a few years ago now.
“So having this community for me, I was elated really. It just helped fill that void in my life and it's been lovely to have.”
The launch comes off the back of a Facebook page which has taken off since Craig, Chris and Luca created it.
To commemorate the new community, they held an event in collaboration with the recently opened LGTBQ+ venue, Kandi Bar in Ely Court, Tunbridge Wells on Friday (May 3).
The night was sponsored by Lush, Waitrose, Hotel Chocolat and local personalised gift company, Innit Bruv.
Speaking after, Luca said: “It was incredible – the turnout blew us away, and we had a bunch of local businesses join us which was fantastic.”
Down the line, he would like to see the group host more events to raise awareness and perhaps even organise a big group holiday.
Luca said: “I want everybody who joins our community to build relationships like we have.
“With Chris and Craig – we‘re like brothers. It feels like we've known each other for ages.”
Chris laughed: “We’re like the Sex in the City girls.”
If you would like to join the group you can find their Facebook page here.
Whether you identify as LGBTQ+ or are an ally, anyone is welcome.
