DEAR ABBY: I’m a 67-year-old father to a wonderful daughter. She has decided to stay with her boyfriend, who recently got out of jail for stealing $200,000 from his grandparents. Because of this, I do not want to leave her a large sum of money when I pass. (As of now, she would inherit it.)
My problem is, how do I tell her I am removing her from my will? If I tell her, I’m scared she will hate me and end our relationship. But if I don’t tell her now, she’ll be so disappointed when that time does come.
Her boyfriend has already stolen $200 from her checking account since his release from jail. He has a gambling problem but continues to deny it. I cannot take the chance that he wouldn’t steal from her on a much bigger scale. She stands to inherit more than $400,000.
How do I tell her? I know I can set up a trust for her, but telling her my decision is the difficult problem. -- PLANNING AHEAD IN FLORIDA
DEAR PLANNING: You didn’t say that you are in ill health. You could live another 15 or 20 years and, if you do, your daughter could have wised up and chosen a more suitable partner by then. I do think your idea of creating a trust for her is a good one. However, I see no reason why you should discuss that plan with her now. If you feel the need to explain, do it in a letter to be given to her at the time of your demise.
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DEAR READERS: I wish a very Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere -- birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren, as well as dual-role dads. Orchids to all of you for the love you give not only today, but each and every day. -- LOVE, ABBY
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
