A viral self-help vlogger says “simple psychology” can help you to understand what it really means to be a Golden Retriever boyfriend or a Black Cat girlfriend.
The Golden Retriever boyfriend theory is doing the rounds on TikTok again, as well as the idea that women often play the Black Cat role in a relationship. While these terms may not mean much to you right now, a viral relationship coach claims that a lot can be learned from these romantic stereotypes.
Golden Retriever boyfriends and Black Cat girlfriends explained
For the uninitiated, the notion of the Golden Retriever boyfriend is one of the internet’s favorite dating terms thus far in 2024.
The concept refers to boys who, like Golden Retriever dogs, are dopey, clumsy and potentially not the sharpest tools in the box – but invariably are always smiling when they are around you and find that greeting you is often the highlight of the day.
The phrase is generally used as a term of endearment, and the Golden Retriever boyfriend has become the archetype many people wish to find when scrolling through dating apps.
Though not as well documented, the idea of the Black Cat girlfriend has also been subject to discussion online. It is theorized that those who possess ‘Black Cat energy’ will be the more mysterious, ambiguous figure in the relationship – leading to a situation one would associate with a rather stereotypical heterosexual relationship, in which the Golden Retriever boyfriend enjoys chasing the Black Cat girlfriend, who maintains power through the ability to reject the chaser.
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‘Simple psychology’ of Golden Retriever boyfriends and Black Cat girlfriends explained
Anna Kristina is a social media personality who has amassed just shy of 4000,000 followers and over 13.2 million likes on TikTok thanks to her explainer videos, in which she outlines the psychology behind your everyday romantic encounters and situations.
Discussing the merit of the Golden Retriever, Black Cat scenario, Kristina told us what she believes it signifies about most men in heterosexual relationships: “Men are happier, even though they don’t like to admit this, if they are the Golden Retriever to their women – chasing her.”
“Because,” Kristina explained, “believer it or not, men actually get a thrill out of the chase.”
“Men love the mystery, the unpredictability, the unsafety and the confusion about their woman sitting on the edge of their seat, always trying to get a piece of her.”
“Women are the entire opposite,” claimed Kristina. “They need the security, the safety, the reassurance from their men in a long-term commitment. To feel safe and feel loved.”
Relationships often tend to struggle, according to Kristina, as this dynamic shifts. The mindset coach maintains that when Black Cat girlfriends begin to lose their air of mystery and express their anxieties about the relationship dynamic, the Golden Retriever boyfriend will no longer need to “chase”, and will therefore lose interest.
Rather, she argues, it is important for women to be in touch with their “divine feminine energy”, so that they can maintain power over their partners, by understanding the strength of keeping their partner actively working to keep them satisfied.
While Kristina’s advice provides an interesting angle through which to understand Golden Retriever Boyfriends and Black Cat girlfriends, its worth noting that her comments reflect her opinions, not fact, and that relationship dynamics can vary drastically across all types of couples.
