Cindy Crawford struggled with survivor guilt during her childhood following the death of her brother.
The 58-year-old supermodel revealed her parents were desperate to have a son after previously welcoming three daughters and were thrilled when their little boy Jeffrey arrived, but the family was left heartbroken after the tot died aged just three following a battle with leukemia.
During an appearance on the 'Kelly Corrigan Wonders: About Your Mother' podcast, Cindy explained: "I am not sure they definitely wanted four kids, but they wanted a boy. My dad wanted a boy, so the fourth was the boy and I think that there was a lot of guilt."
Cindy went on to add that she and her two sisters all felt "guilty" over Jeffrey's death. She said: "There’s like that survivor guilt of the other kids and especially because we knew that my dad really wanted a boy. We felt like ‘Well it should’ve been one of us.
"It was so weird, like for years, my sisters and I would all have these same nightmares, that it should’ve been one of us."
Cindy also faced a strained relationship with her peers at school after the tragedy.
She said: "I remember when I went back to school after my brother died, not one person said one thing to me, no kidding, except for one kid who was like: ‘I saw in the paper your brother’s dead. Is that true?'
"I was like: ‘Whoa'. It was so in your face, but he didn’t know what to say. We were in third grade."
The catwalk star went on to reveal she worked through a lot of her issues in therapy during the COVID-19 lockdowns when she had time to deal with her emotional baggage.
She added: "Just recently, I was doing some coaching through COVID. I actually had time to do real work, and I realised that one of the questions the coach asked me was something like: ‘What did you need to hear at that time that you didn’t hear?’ and I realised.
"And my mom wouldn’t have known to say this, she was 26 years old and had just lost a child, but I needed to hear: ‘Yes, we’re so sad that Jeff has died, but we’re so happy you are here'."
