A woman on Reddit is worried she ruined a new relationship after she called her date a “decent guy.”
“I had been dating this guy, Alex, for a couple of weeks. He seems like a good guy with a good head on his shoulders, always polite and kind, good job and clear goals,” she wrote.
While on a recent date together, the potential couple discussed their past relationships and what they’re looking for in a partner.
“Alex is looking for a long-term partner, and so [am] I. I mentioned how I am sick of arrogant and narcissistic guys like my exes, and said that Alex seemed like a decent guy and nothing like them,” she explained.
That’s when she noticed the “atmosphere kinda changed.”
“Alex said ‘Glad I’m decent’ and excused himself to the bathroom. When he came back he stopped initiating conversation, got very vague in his replies and when he took me home he declined to come in for a coffee saying he had an early start the day after. He said he would love to have me over for lunch though, maybe next week,” she continued.
However, after another week of texting, he still hadn’t mentioned seeing her again.
“I think I turned him off with my ‘decent’ comment, but I meant it in a positive way, a good, kind, hardworking guy. I would hate to miss out on someone like him, should I explain myself to him and try to fix things?” the confused woman concluded her post.
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Users in the comments section tried to make sense of the woman’s date’s behavior.
“I don’t really think the ‘decent’ part is what turned him off. It was probably more you bringing up your exes in the first place and then talking negatively about all of them. You’re the one who chose to date them, so it reflects poorly on you. He was probably thinking, ‘Surely ALL of the guys she dated weren’t narcissists. It’s more likely she is the problem.’ Even if you weren’t the problem, it’s never a good idea to bring up exes like that on a date with a guy you barely know,” one person wrote.
“Consider that he has his own relationship experience too. Perhaps describing him as ‘decent’ makes him feel poorly after his own bad experiences. I certainly wouldn’t want to be compared to terrible exes at the start of a relationship, and be called ‘decent’ in comparison,” another commented.
“Yes, you should explain if you want any chance of salvaging this,” someone else advised.
