Former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani is launching a new campaign in his contentious bankruptcy battle, spurred by a $148 million defamation ruling against him, in an unexpected place: the coffee aisle.
Giuliani and his girlfriend Dr. Maria Ryan Tuesday night launched a new website shilling bagged Rudy Coffee with names like "Fighting for Justice," "America's Mayor" and "Enjoying Life," which is decaffeinated.
"I do know coffee has health benefits, but not in those little plastic things that are already ground — hurts my stomach," Ryan tells viewers in a promotional video that dropped Tuesday night.
"I was looking for products that had non-GMO, really organic bean farms and I couldn't find any."
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According to the National Coffee Association of the U.S., there is no GMO coffee in the marketplace. The U.S. Department of Agriculture's database of organically certified businesses includes more than 2,800 producing or selling coffee.
"So Rudy Giuliani and I collaborated," Ryan explains, "and we have Rudy.Coffee coming to your home soon."
This announcement arrives amid a tumultuous time for Giuliani's finances.
Days after admitting in a court filing that his accountant had dropped him and his lone sources of income were Social Security payments and his radio show, WABC canceled the show for spreading misinformation about election fraud.
"They did it to me at a time in which they knew that I could be in a position where I needed money," Giuliani opined on his YouTube livestream Sunday. "And I think they assumed that I'm like them and that I sell my soul for money."
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Giuliani appears to have opted instead for coffee.
"Fighting for Justice" is an Arabica dark roast that costs $29.99 for two pounds. A select number of bags come signed by the former mayor, whose face appears on the bag next to the Statue of Liberty.
"Are you bold? Do you like bold coffee?" the Rudy.Coffee website asks. "This coffee is dedicated to the most respected lawyer and prosecutor of the twentieth and twenty-first century."
"Rudy Morning Coffee," which shows the former mayor beaming in front of vintage cars, apparently has an aftertaste so nice, advertisers declared it twice.
"The slight caramelization of the natural sugars in the bean gives the coffee a touch of roastiness, while it still retains its natural flavor character, resulting in a sweet, pleasant aftertaste," the description reads. Then:
"The slight caramelization of the natural sugars in the bean give this Medium coffee a touch of roastiness, while it still retains its natural flavor character, giving it a sweet, pleasant aftertaste with low acidity."
Ryan's announcement was met with much excitement, but also some criticism.
While X user Geoffrey A. Fields declared he was "Definitely gonna give it a try," Angel Ramirez Jr. commented, "The grift keeps on a grifting."
But as news spread, so did the jokes.
X user JustGus quipped the coffee would come with a bonus: "Complete with hair dye grease topper!"
"Rudy.crazy coming soon to your home," added X user @NotHoodlum.
X user Cheeky resorted to verse, sharing a poem entitled "Co-conspirator Coffee."
"Coffee beans, beans, the machinator fruit/The more you leak, the more you toot/The more you crime, the election you steal," the poem reads. It comes with an addendum: "apologies to actual poets."
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