DEAR MISS MANNERS: Yet another Mother’s Day and birthday have come and gone with no gift from my husband. What’s worse, to me, is that he has done nothing to show our two little boys how to acknowledge Mommy on any special occasion.
On many occasions over the years, I have told my hubby point-blank that I don’t care if he just takes the boys to the drugstore to pick up a tube of lip balm for me. I don’t care if they draw a picture, bring home a seashell, paint on a rock or pick some flowers. But to no avail.
I am a strong, secure, educated, independent middle-aged woman, not some teenaged girl looking for attention from a boyfriend. But I am NOT happy with the example he is setting for them in this regard. Of course, being entirely insensitive, he believes that I am completely ridiculous, and just flips out on those rare times that I dare to share my feelings.
My heart is just plain old sad. I don’t like feeling so unimportant to the three most important people in my life. I don’t even know what to do at this point.
GENTLE READER: Fortunately, Father’s Day is just a month away.
No, Miss Manners is not suggesting that you devise some way of getting even then. On the contrary, you should use the occasion to coach those boys into making a fuss over their father -- not for his sake, but for theirs. As your boys are little, gear it to something they can handle by themselves: perhaps a short, prepared speech of appreciation and a homemade present.
Your husband may well not appreciate it; there are people who find such holidays silly and distastefully commercialized. That is fine, but it does not excuse his disregarding your feelings.
Next spring, you can remind your boys of the kind appreciation they showed their dad, and gently hint how happy you would be to feel some, too.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
