Have you ever wondered why waiters repeat your order to you? To check they got it correct, right? Well, not exactly.
That is part of it, but it’s actually a clever trick that will make you feel more satisfied, hopefully resulting in bigger tips.
‘Sales trick’ waiters use
The strategy is called mirroring, former FBI officer Chris Voss explained on the consumer psychology podcast Nudge. He was a hostage negotiator and is an expert in the techniques people use to negotiate things.
“Mirroring is repeating the last one to three words that somebody just said, sometimes it could be one, never more than five,” he explained. “It makes the other side feel heard and gets your counterpart to comfortably expand.”
The trick makes you feel drawn to the person, creating feelings of comfort while subconsciously connecting you to them. You build up a rapport and like for them, which results in you wanting to engage in conversation.
Trick ‘doubles their tips’
Voss mentioned a 2003 study in the Nature journal called “Copycat waitresses get bigger tips,” in which Dutch psychologists studied waiting staff at an American-style restaurant in Holland.
Half of the servers were told to take orders as normal, while the other half were asked to verbally mirror the customer’s order after they said it.
The people who mirrored the order increased their tips by 70% as this simple technique made customers like them more, and reward them with more money.
“Mimicry creates bonds between people,” said author Rick van Baaren from the University of Nijmegen. “You know that what you’re doing is ok, and you become more generous.”
Another strategy people use
The former FBI officer explained that another trick often used in sales and negotiations is calibrated questions, which are open-ended questions that typically start with “how” or “what”.
They are deliberately designed to keep the conversation flowing by making you stop and think about a specific topic. You “box the person in” on a topic without even realising it, putting their focus exactly where you want it.
This gets your counterpart to give you the answers you want, but they believe they are coming up with them on their own. It gives the illusion of control and makes them feel like they have the upper hand, when in reality you do.
