“Daddy Issues” is one of those terms casually thrown around a lot, but Father Complex, a legitimate condition that inspires the slang, can impact one for a lifetime if not dealt with healthily.
Father Complex can affect anyone irrespective of their gender, but women and men with the condition don’t behave the same way in adulthood as they struggle to maintain a stable romantic relationship. We spoke to Clinical Psychologist and Relationship expert, Dr. Betsy Chung, to understand the major signs of “Daddy Issues” and how to cope.
Psychologist details different signs of ‘Daddy Issue’
Dr. Betsy tells The Focus: “The term ‘Daddy Issues’ is a catch-all term that refers to those who struggle with adult intimacy due to unresolved issues with their fathers during childhood.”
However, the term isn’t recognized by the psychological or scientific communities, she says, often offending the person labeled as having it.
Because men and women have different expectations of a father figure, they exhibit varying signs of Father Complex in adulthood.
How Father Complex Affects Women
As women look up to their father growing up – for a sense of safety and healthy representation – young girls who lack a healthy relationship with their parent try to “fulfill those needs to be close to a male figure through approval-seeking behaviors,” says Dr. Betsy.
The psychologist explains: “If they were raised around a lot of infidelity or deception, they may assume that men, in general, are not trustworthy and are extremely sensitive to and anxious at signs that their partner may be showing interest in another.”
She said women who witnessed their father treat their mother poorly accept such behaviors as “normal” in adult relationships. Here are the giving signs of “Daddy Issues” in women:
- Promiscuity
- Seeking “bad boys”
- Unrealistic expectations of male partners
- Fear of abandonment
- Need for constant reassurance
- Intense jealousy
- Difficulty trusting
- Poor boundaries
- Needy or fear of being needy
Signs of ‘Daddy Issues in Men’
When asked how an unhealthy relationship with a father affects men, Dr. Betsy told The Focus: “Because our society is so heavily guided by gender roles, boys need a father figure to show them how to successfully navigate the physical world around them, as well as how to manage their internal world of emotions and needs. “
“When fathers subscribe too strongly to male gender stereotypes, in their attempts to turn their sons into ‘men’, they might respond negatively to their young son’s emotions, inadvertently communicating that there are parts of them that are unacceptable or unlovable,” she further added.
Men who lacked a supporting father growing up struggle to express, acknowledge, and deal with their internal feelings and needs in adulthood. Signs that a man has “Daddy Issues” include:
- Low self-esteem and/or poor self-image
- Confused about identity
- Pattern of unstable relationships with partners
- Chronic infidelity
- Fear of intimacy or closeness
- Constant need for approval and validation
- Co-dependency
- Fear of commitment
- Poor boundaries
- Poor impulse or anger control
The first step to coping with the issue is the acknowledgment of the same. Dr. Betsy suggests “best way to work through ‘”daddy issues ‘Daddy Issues’ is through insight-oriented therapy to address maladaptive patterns in adult relationships, and trace them back to certain messages received about relationships during childhood. “
We would like to thank Dr.Betsy Chung, a clinical psychologist, and relationship expert at RAW dating app for her valuable input that helped us create the article.
