Not every marriage is meant to last forever and a couples counselor claims, there is a specific timeline for any relationship that determines the “most common years” it comes to an end.
Hiccups in a romantic relationship aren’t uncommon, but fixing them isn’t impossible. For instance, a trick discovered by a popular couples therapist guarantees a resolution to any conflict in “26 minutes or less”. However, if a marriage or relationship is destined to fail, it’s believed to happen during specific years.
‘Most common years’ couples break up, according to marriage counselor
In one of her TikTok videos, Marriage and relationship counselor, Kim Polinder, talks about the “most common years” couples usually call it quits on their relationship – 3,7,11, and 15.
She says when a marriage or a long-term relationship ends within the 3-year mark, they “generally have not learned how to resolve conflicts. “The conflicts from the past relationship surface once the honeymoon phase wears off”, and they can’t find a way to get back.
The relationship becomes “stagnant” after 7 years, according to Kim. They start questioning their life choices to see if they are going in different directions and it could be concerning various aspects of life.
By the eleventh or twelfth year, couples will know if they have made enough efforts to move past the “stagnation” and strengthen their bond. The relationship hits a dead end if they don’t figure out how to grow past the previous phase.
Whereas, when a couple enters the fifteenth year of their relationship and still finds themselves embroiled in issues, “it’s because they have forgotten how to become friends,” says Kim.
At this point in their relationship, they would rather live as “roommates”. The marriage counselor says couples in a long-term relationship or marriage wouldn’t have learned how to resolve the conflict, and instead of breaking up, they “go through the motions of a relationship.”
4 major signs that predict if you’ll break up
In a different video, Kim details four common signs that predict whether a couple will break up.
- Toxic criticism – When a couple is extremely critical and often blames each other about things they “always” do or “never” say. The sweeping statements criticize each other’s characters.
- Contempt – expressed with sighing, eye-rolling, mocking each other, or resorting to cutting sarcasm.
- Defensiveness – when the couple makes excuses for their respective actions without taking accountability.
- Stonewalling – a toxic practice that involves shutting down yourself to your partner and resorting to silent treatment.
The marriage counselor says couples who often exhibit all four traits are predicted to break up by the sixth year of marriage.
Kim Polinder is a marriage and relationship coach. She founded the Polinder Coaching Group, which specializes in helping couples navigate issues in their relationship through communication, empathy, and connection. Kim boasts over 151,000 followers on TikTok.
