A dating expert has offered her two cents on Dr. John Gottman’s six-second kiss, which is said to build appreciation between partners and reduce the “stress hormone” cortisol.
In the confusing world of relationships and dating, physical affection is one of the primary ways of showing love towards your partner. But relationships are not without their challenges, which is why it’s so helpful to have a range of experts offering tips like the healthy habits that could save your failing relationship.
What is the six-second kiss?
The term was coined by Dr. John Gottman, who has spoken considerably about the six-second kiss before on podcasts like The Diary Of A CEO with Steven Bartlett. The premise is actually as it sounds, you kiss your partner for six consecutive seconds.
As per the expert’s official website, the kissing technique is said to inspire a range of effects including adding to your emotional bank account, soothing yourself, developing a deeper connection with your partner, and improving your own kissing skills. Caution though, as you should only try this with someone you are actually in a relationship with. Offering to kiss your first date for six seconds might put them off.
“The more you practice an elongated kiss, it can also become a habit. A six-second kiss is one of the least time-consuming ways to improve things with your partner. In fact, if you have two kisses per day the total time per week amounts to less than 90 seconds,” he penned. “So, keep kissing. It has the potential to benefit the overall health of your relationship.”
Is the technique worth trying out?
To better understand how the six-second kiss could affect the state of your relationship, we caught up with matchmaking extraordinaire, Barbie Adler, who you might remember earlier offered first-date red flags.
“It’s more a reminder to give these expressions of intimacy the time, attention, and patience they deserve. Slowing down and being more mindful when kissing is a simple but profoundly effective way to boost intimacy and overall relationship satisfaction,” she said.
Firstly, Barbie said that engaging in the six-second kiss could reduce your stress because of a well-known “love” hormone called oxytocin.
“Especially during those busy days where you feel like you don’t have a moment to yourself, taking the time to share a kiss can allow you both to recenter yourselves on what matters most in life: your relationship,” she said.
Talk with your lips
Barbie continued to explain that kissing is actually a form of communication, meaning the six-second kiss is a great way to “express more than words ever could.”
“Many people are already in the good habit of saying “I love you” to their partner every day, and a long kiss is a way to say it in the most direct way possible,” she added.
Finally, and arguably the most important thing to note, is the fact that kissing is completely free and without a massive time commitment.
Barbie explained: “Whether you share one before you leave for work, right after you return, or both, this simple act allows you to take time out of your day to focus entirely on one another. Making this a daily ritual helps you stay connected while giving you something to look forward to every day.
“The pure simplicity of it–the fact that all you need is one another, that you don’t need to go anywhere or buy anything–is part of what makes it such a powerful and enduring habit.”
