Chrissy Teigen spends her whole life "scared" of things.
The 38-year-old model - who has Luna, eight, Miles, five, Esti, 15 months, and Wren, 10 months, with her husband John Legend - shared a post that featured her at a log crossing obstacle course and explained that the activity made her realise that she "doesn't enjoy much" in her day-to-day life.
She wrote on Instagram: "I thought that since I have seen times that were so dark since the last time I did this, that I would be fearless on this god damn thing. But I’m still so scared. Then I realized I now live my whole life so scared.
"I don’t enjoy much outside my family, my few friends, television and crafts. I feel like a very shrunken version of myself. And I know I am meant to be big. I’m really scared of letting you guys down and I find myself fighting with myself all day in my brain with things I want to say, things I want to explain, but I’m just so fearful."
The former 'Lip Sync Battle' host noted that she "misses so many parts" of herself that were once there and lives in hope that she will one day be comfortable with the notion that she will "never be perfect" for her followers and fans.
She said: " I miss so many parts of myself and I hope one day I can shed some fear and accept that I will never be perfect for you guys and that is okay!!
"But for now I will continue to work on it all and try to balance my brain with rational thoughts, and try to be kind to myself and my body and mind. And I will always continue to ramble aimlessly in captions."
