Someone is bound to hurt in a relationship when one party is more invested than the other. A dating coach has three pieces of advice to stop you from becoming easily attached to your dater.
Dating is one of the hardest life experiences if things don’t go your way. You may have met the love of your life, but until you’re sure, here are a few things you shouldn’t do to avoid heartbreak.
Relationship coach’s advice to not become ‘too invested’ while dating
Hold your horses, ladies. If you have attachment issues, dating is more complicated for you than it is for others. Follow these three things to save yourself the pain should things not work with the person you’re dating.
Tell yourself that you ‘don’t know him’
Dating and Relationship coach Shahrzad Parandeh says in one of her TikTok videos that you should always tell yourself that you don’t know the man you’re dating until his true colors are revealed.
She says you must always believe that you “have no idea” who he is until the feelings and emotions become mutual. It’s almost impossible to determine a person’s true nature and intention within a couple of dates.
You might as well remain emotionally distant until he’s earned your trust and you know what you’re getting into. You wouldn’t be setting yourself up for heartbreak by giving the relationship time to brew organically.
Don’t text too much
The dating coach says constant texting will result in you fantasizing about your dater and sticking to any image of them you’ve created in your head.
For someone who gets emotionally attached easily, texting only worsens it because you’re investing more energy and time in someone who may or may not see a future with you.
Keep your phone away and keep the virtual conversation to a minimum between real dates.
Channel the energy towards yourself
Think of all the time and energy you’re investing in a man when you can use it on yourself. The dating coach advises focusing on yourself, which means, indulging in self-love and self-care instead of obsessing over the other person.
Not only will this keep your emotions at bay, but makes you more confident by providing more clarity on what you want, and not what he gives you.
