Earlier this week, I spoke to someone who had attended the count in a Kent constituency at a previous general election.
We were discussing spoilt ballot papers and we ended up smirking at those who opted, instead of exercising their democratic muscle, to simply draw a willy instead of placing an ‘X’.
Yes, they do exist.
But he also informed me how in one case, a voter had placed their vote in one box, quite correctly, but then gone on to make notes on every other candidate as to why they weren’t worthy. They must have been in that polling booth for ages.
What a waste, I thought, that if you were that politically motivated to pass comment on everyone that you risked having your paper spoiled. Had someone told them (presumably as a joke) that is what you did when voting? Or could they simply not resist?
Yet, two-and-a-bit weeks into the current election campaign, that is exactly what every political party has decided is to be their main election slogan.
In short, it’s ‘vote for us, because the others are rubbish and here’s why…’.
The Tories and Labour have done almost nothing other than spend every platform they find themselves on running the other party down. The aim of both seems to be the aim of flinging the biggest piece of excrement at the other to ensure it’s still stuck to them come polling day.
The Lib Dems have done exactly the same – just that the ludicrous nature of their publicity stunts means no-one pays them any attention. I still haven’t got the bizarre sight of leader Ed Davey being quizzed on Sky News the other day while both he and the reporter sat on an inflatable going down a water slide, out of my mind. I have absolutely no idea what the point was. And therein lies their problem.
As for Nigel Farage? Let’s just say that woman wasted a good milkshake throwing it in his face.
So what happened to injecting a bit of aspirational rhetoric on the campaign trail? What happened to painting a picture of sunnier climes ahead, of a united, caring, nation all pulling in the same direction with some detail as to how it would be achieved?
People used to do that. Yes, they still lambasted their opponents, but they also had plans.
Labour are so far ahead in the polls and Rishi Sunak proving so hapless at every turn, it’s hard to see how Keir Starmer will not win by the proverbial country mile. Remarkable given that other than some broad-brush promises, his party has failed to put any meat on the bones of anything to transform the fortunes of our nation.
And that’s almost certainly because when, whoever ends up in Downing Street on July 5 takes a look at the nation’s bank balance they’ll realise there’s not even enough to buy a bottle of Champagne to celebrate. Or, for that matter, a Tesco bottle of Bucks Fizz.
We are destined – due to financial constraints – to have more of the same going forward due to a lack of fiscal wriggle room. Whoever wins. We all know that. But for some reason no-one wants to admit it.
All of which makes me think that person who submitted their personal views on all the major parties may have had a point. Or the sketch of the genitals for that matter.
