DEAR ANNIE: I’ve been friends with “Remy” for six years. We both play the same computer game on the same platform, and we always enjoy chatting as we play. A little over a year ago, I was single and found myself developing feelings for Remy. We’d always just been friends, but gradually, an attraction grew. Before I knew what was happening, we both found ourselves falling in love. We have so many similarities and shared interests. It’s so easy to talk to each other. It’s been over a year of our sharing this intense, romantic connection.
But there’s a catch. I knew that she was technically married and had a kid, but I always thought that she was separated from her husband. It turned out that wasn’t the case. She insists she’s going to separate from him, though, and is just waiting for her new house to be done so that she can move. Meanwhile, I’m in limbo, not knowing what’s going to happen.
Annie, what do you do when the woman you love is unhappily married? She says she loves me and wants to be with me. And I’m so excited to have found someone who connects with me so deeply. Our only clashes come on the weekends when she has to play house and can’t write to me. I’ve mostly been understanding up until now, but it’s starting to get a bit frustrating. -- Lover in Limbo
DEAR LOVER: What you call “playing house” is her living her real life. Your digital rendezvous are her playtime -- a way for her to escape the day-to-day drudgery, blow off some steam and avoid having to make any substantial changes to her situation. She might not be conscious of the fact that this is what she’s doing, but it doesn’t make it any more acceptable. The bottom line is that if she were going to leave her husband, she’d have done so already. Pull the plug and free yourself up to connect with a loving, available woman -- one you can meet in person.
NOTE: The above column originally published in 2021.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
