TikTok content creator and dating podcaster/author Jeff Guenther (therapyjeff on the platform) has offered his followers 15 questions they could ask a partner in order to get to know them better.
But the reactions he’s received are a mixed bag, with some going as far as to say the answers to some of his questions would keep them “awake at night”. But he says this will help you get to know your partner more deeply and in turn could aid your relationship.
Therapy Jeff’s 15 questions and prompts to get to know a partner better
In his video, Jeff Guenther offers 15 questions and prompts to ask a partner to get to know them better.
He doesn’t specify when during the course of a relationship he recommends asking them. Nor – thankfully – do any of them contain any modern dating jargon to make them hard to decipher. But they seem to make the most sense as topics of discussion for people who have decided to date with some commitment, and who have reached a certain level of intimacy.
They are:
- Who was your first love?
- Tell me about the first time you experienced heartbreak, and the first time you ever broke someone’s heart.
- Do you believe we were destined to meet?
- What’s a relationship belief you once held strongly but have since let go of or evolved over the years?
- What problematic or unhealthy relationship pattern do you keep experiencing, and do you think it has come up in our relationship?
- How did you contribute to the demise of your last longterm relationship?
- What’s your biggest relationship regret?
- Was there a way I could have flirted with or approached you when we first met that could’ve completely turned you off and prevented us from being together?
- What do you think is the absolute best thing about being in a relationship with you and do you think I appreciate it?
- What’s the most annoying thing about being in a relationship with you and do you think I’m tolerating it OK?
- What’s a spicy fantasy that turns you on but that you would never want to do in real life?
- Is there a specific way you’d want me to break up with you if I wanted to end things?
- Let’s say we grow old together. Do you want to die first or second?
- What’s the wildest or weirdest place you’d like us to hook up in?
- What’s your best relationship advice?
- MORE ON RELATIONSHIPS: Man asking his girlfriend to marry him with a tattoo doesn’t go down well with Redditors
He then goes on to plug his new book.
Not everyone agrees Jeff’s questions will lead to productive conversations
Some of the comments Guenther has received on his TikTok upload suggest a degree of division among his audience regarding whether these are worthy questions. Others are positive.
“No thank you,” writes one TikTok user. “The answers to some of those will keep me awake at night.”
“No way,” writes another. “I’m way too sensitive for these questions!”
A third praises the questions themselves, and presumably those willing and able to ask and answer them. “But IDK if I want to know the answers.”
A fourth says straight up that they “don’t want to know the answers to these”. Other comments include the simple – “horrifying” – and advice not to ask number 12 to anyone with issues around abandonment, since it might trigger a negative response.
Who is Therapy Jeff?
Jeff Guenther is a licensed professional counselor – that’s why he has “LPC” after his name on his videos.
Online, he goes by Therapy Jeff. His website states that he completed a master’s degree in family therapy at the University of Southern California, and a bachelor’s in child and family development at San Diego State University.
He lives in Portland, Oregon and runs a private practice.
His book, Big Dating Energy, is available for preorder from several major online bookstores and retailers. Besides making content for TikTok, he also produces longer form videos for the website Passes, a platform that allows fans to buy access to exclusive content and experiences from digital creators.
