DEAR ABBY: Several years ago, I began a friendship with a woman at my church. She had children a few years older than my daughter. The friendship seemed mutually satisfying for a long time, although I noticed on many occasions that my friend seemed entitled and demanding where her children were concerned. I overlooked it until it affected me.
I realized over time that she had manipulated and lied to keep my daughter away from hers at teen social events because my daughter had been labeled “annoying.” There was also other deceptive behavior.
These betrayals, combined with realizing that we don’t agree on many subjects, has made me lose interest in the friendship. However, she doesn’t seem to share my feelings. She still frequently invites me to lunch (which I refuse) and initiates “friendly” conversations.
Confronting her about her behavior would result in denials and a big blowup. How can I bring an end to this fake friendship? -- NOT INTERESTED IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR NOT INTERESTED: Since you no longer wish to continue to have a relationship with this woman, the quickest way to end it would be to tell her exactly what you have learned about how your daughter was treated and that you feel appalled and betrayed. Whether she “blows up” and denies it is irrelevant.
If you can’t bring yourself to confront her, then drag it out by continuing to be “too busy” to see her or to have those “friendly” conversations.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
