Have you ever wished that a 99p coin was invented? Or that socks were sold in threes because you always seem to lose one in a pair?
If so, you might share some thoughts in common with The Official Monster Raving Loony Party candidate, Earl Elvis of East Anglia, who is standing to become MP of South West Norfolk.
This will be the second time that Earl Elvis, whose real name is Ashley Inwood, has stood during a general election after he received the least amount of votes in the constituency in 2019.
However, this has not deterred Mr Inwood, a self-employed gardener from Outwell, from running again. And he believes he has more of a chance of not being at the bottom of the table this time.
He has been handing out flyers to South West Norfolk residents, which show his lengthy manifesto of policies made up by himself and other members of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party.
Policies include painting half of the grey squirrel population red to increase their number and OAPs qualifying for a summer ice lolly allowance if temperatures exceed 70 degrees.
Introducing a ROT instead of an MOT is also an idea from the party, to make sure “all roads are car worthy”.
The manifesto also includes the idea of inventing a 99p coin and selling socks in threes “so when you lose one, you still have a pair”.
Mr Inwood said: “The 99p is one of the better ideas. One idea we had a few years ago was to open pubs all day, which they obviously do now. That idea did come from the Loony Party. The leader of the party is friends with Tim Martin who owns Wetherspoons.
“Some of the suggestions are quite stupid, but selling the socks in threes is a good idea.”
If he were to get elected as South West Norfolk’s MP. Mr Inwood said that resolving flooding on the Welney Wash road would be his priority.
“One of the main issues would be to do something about the Welney Wash. The only thing is to build some kind of bridge. It would cost millions, but it would save people money on petrol and help businesses,” Mr Inwood said.
Mr Inwood told the Lynn News that the Official Monster Raving Loony Party ran to give residents the option of ticking a “none of the above” box on their ballot and bringing a bit of fun to politics.
He added: “The main thing with the Looney Party is, we believe there should be a box on the ballot paper at the bottom saying ‘none of the above’ so people have a choice to say none of the above - that box is us.
“I mainly decided to run again because obviously it is going to be very close.
“Last time there were only five candidates, this year is nine. I came last last time, but this year I have a feeling I won’t come last, I think there are other parties that might fare worse.”
Earl Elvis of East Anglia is also looking forward to attending his first hustings in Downham on Thursday to answer members of the public’s questions.
“The interest will be on Liz Truss and whether she gets in or not. It is going to be close but it’s going to be good fun,” he said.
“Things have got to be a bit of fun instead of being serious all the time.”
The Monster Raving Loony Party has more than 4,000 members, with its leader Howling Laud Hope being in place for nearly 40 years.
“This will be his 12th general election, 12th without getting anywhere. Nigel Farage is now on his eighth,” said Mr Inwood.
Known for attending political events in a striking orange blazer and top hat, Mr Inwood has had a mixed reaction from members of the public.
He said: “90% of people I speak to are good, one or two think that politics should be totally serious and we shouldn’t be allowed to enter.
“If we’re not allowed to enter, how do you draw the line on any other candidates entering?”
Mr Inwood is up against former Tory Prime Minister Liz Truss, who has stood as South West Norfolk’s MP since 2010.
Other candidates who are fighting for Truss’ spot are Independent James Bagge, Labour’s Terry Jermy, Lorraine Douglas of the Communist Party of Britain, Josie Ratcliffe from the Liberal Democrats, the Heritage Party’s Gary Conway, Pallavi Devulapalli from the Green Party, and Tobias McKenzie from Reform UK.
Earl Elvis’ final message to readers is not as silly as some of the party’s manifesto. He has urged people to exercise their right to vote.
He said: “Please, if you weren’t going to vote, vote for Loony.
“Only 50% of the population vote in this country and the other 50% do not. If they’re not going to vote, come and vote and vote for us. If you don’t want to vote for any of the others vote for us.”
