DEAR ABBY: I was married for 25 years before I got divorced. We had three children. I begged my ex to be a better dad, although I knew it probably would not happen. Currently, he has no contact with any of them. He alienated them for different reasons, and his new wife has caused some issues.
Recently, my youngest daughter (who is 36) gave birth for the first time to my new granddaughter. She had a very difficult pregnancy and almost died. Four or five weeks after the delivery, she had a major blood clot in her leg and again almost died.
I think her dad should be notified by letter. However, all of the kids insist they want nothing to do with him. He has my daughters’ phone numbers but not my son’s, so he could call them. At one time, he stated that HE doesn’t have any kids, they are MINE. What do you think? -- LET DOWN IN MINNESOTA
DEAR LET DOWN: I think you should stay out of this! If your ex had wanted anything to do with his children, he would have been present for them. Your children are adults now, and they are able to decide on their own with no help from you how they want to conduct their lives. Frankly, I have a strong hunch that trying to involve their father now would only bring more pain than he has already caused.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
