By City A.M. Comment Desk
You may know how you’re voting, but what about your polling station-bound dog? Here’s our guide to pet pawlitics
Cockapoo
- Like Labour voters, these floppy-eared yappers are now ten a penny
- Often sighted at Blank Street coffee shops with a matcha latte in paw (oat milk OFC)
- Centrist vibes
- Doesn’t remember the Iraq war
- Used to vote Tory, now votes Labour
Bichon frise
- Red is her colour but sadly she can’t vote Labour due to of her love of foie gras
- Likely to live in Lib Dem suburbs but aspires to a zone 1 townhouse
- Never touched grass in her life so happy to bulldoze over the green belt
- Pretty (and votes Tory)
XL Bully
- Says things like “not ALL XL bullies”
- Does NOT like regulation – or muzzles (or foreign dogs)
- Insurgent campaigner who hates being told what to do
- No nanny state, nans or toddlers
- Votes Reform
Corgi
- Monarchists
- Wants to abolish inheritance tax (mummy worked very hard for the lifestyle they’re accustomed to)
- Currently at their summer retreat and forgot to apply for a postal vote
Dalmation
- Anti-fur campaigner
- Worried about two child benefit cap (thinks 101 a more reasonable cut-off)
- Smart, but not in the way that counts
- NEVER changes its spots (fiercely loyal Lib Dem)
Shiba Inu
- Anarcho-capitalist
- Tells you about how they made their fortune investing in crypto
- One of the few voters swayed by the various parties’ memes
- Soils their ballot
Greyhound
- Sensitive soul susceptible to party donation appeals
- Rescued from Battersea to live in Hackney
- RUNS to the polling station
- Sympathises with the underdog (Greens, independents)
Pomeranian
- Nationally famed as cute and fluffy, but known by the locals as vicious
- Barks at builders
- Knows how to work a camera
- Throws dirty looks at the neighbours’ dogs
- Votes Lib Dem
Labrador Retriever
- Loyal but stupid
- Hungry for Change (and treats)
- Rishi Sunak has one, so like Adidas Sambas they’re ruined for everyone
- Does what his owner tells him (in this election: votes Labour)
