Months after losing her son Jack following pregnancy complications, Chrissy Teigen is still being candid about the loss.
The 35-year-old shared a photo of her and husband, John Legend, in a restaurant on Instagram and reflected about simpler times in the caption.
"we’ve been going to @frankrestaurant for…man, maybe 13, 14 years now?? we used to live just a couple blocks away, right across from the hell’s angels in the east village," the model began. "john had a basement apartment with a roommate and I used to sneak cigarettes (ew) through the little half window that lined up with the sidewalk. basically a window where you could only see people’s shoes."
STARS SEND LOVE TO CHRISSY TEIGEN & JOHN LEGEND AFTER HEARTBREAKING MISCARRIAGE
Teigen said that she used to bring her dog Puddy with her and eat outside the restaruant or sit at the bar alone. "And I would never ever miss a Thursday," she wrote. "Thursday was lasagna verde day — a bubbling, piping hot dish of cheesy lasagna with the toastiest edges you could ever wish for. I’d sit there with my multiple double vodka sodas and get day drunk by myself (this is not a brag lol I was basically a functioning alcoholic) then buy hats I didn’t like or need at urban outfitters."
"anyhowwwww just reminiscing about New York a lot lately, when things were simple, thinking about all the stuff I’ve done and been through not just this year but in my life," the cookbook author wrote.
"I’m slightly down lately," she admitted. "It kind of started when I was thinking of my book caption and typed out 'my third baby is here!!', as in cookbook, then realized my third baby will never be here."
THE CUTEST PICS! JOHN LEGEND AND CHRISSY TEIGEN'S RELATIONSHIP TIMELINE
Teigen explained that she threw herself into writing the book so she would not have to think about losing her baby. "I don’t really feel like I fully processed jack and now that I don’t have the alcohol to numb it away, things are just…there, waiting to be acknowledged," she said.
"I guess what I’m saying here is life is so f*****g complicated. and get the lasagna??? wow this was a rollercoaster !!!!!" she concluded.
Fans and friends took to the comments to offer their support.
"Know that your honesty in your raw, not yet processed emotions and vulnerability is admired and respected by many. Thank you for unapologetically sharing it," one fan wrote.
"They say time heals, hope it heals you ❤️," another commented.
"You’re being real and honest and that’s 🔥❤️," a third fan told the Lip Sync Battle commentator.
CHRISSY TEIGEN SHARES EMOTIONAL VIDEO THANKING FANS WHO SENT LETTERS FOLLOWING PREGNANCY LOSS
In September, Teigen had gone to the hospital with pregnancy complications but lost the baby. "We are shocked and in the kind of deep pain you only hear about, the kind of pain we've never felt before," she shared at the time. "We were never able to stop the bleeding and give our baby the fluids he needed, despite bags and bags of blood transfusions. It just wasn't enough."
Teigen has since gotten her late son's name tattooed on her wrist.
