Michelle Heaton is worried about the impact of her addictions.
The Liberty X singer entered rehab earlier this year because she "didn't know how to stop drinking" and though she's sober now, she's concerned about both the long-time health implications of her alcohol abuse and the affect her actions had on husband Hugh Hanley and their children, Faith, nine, and AJ, seven.
She said: "It was five years really the trauma of all my health issues, it blew up. I just didn’t know how to stop drinking.
"Now I worry, I worry about what my addictions had on me physically and also on my family. I had [Hugh] by my side but I pushed him away.”
Michelle - who previously underwent a hysterectomy and mastectomy to minimise her risks of cancer - credited her husband for helping her overcome her issues.
Speaking in a joint interview on 'Lorraine', she said: "With his strength, he’s helped me get through it to where I am now, not a lot of people are that lucky.”
Hugh added: "I was good mentally and physically and I knew I could deal with Michelle and me and I could protect the kids and we could deal with it, but there were days when I questioned my sanity, there were days where I would break down it was just too much to take, was she drinking was she not drinking. "
The businessman admitted it has been an "extremely tough" few years for the family.
He said: "The last three or four years have been extremely tough knowing that Michelle was in there but the addictions were ripping her apart. Sometimes the way she would be towards me and the kids wasn’t nice but I knew that wasn’t Michelle and it wasn’t who she really is and I kind of held on to that.
"Whenever I brought it up and addressed it, it was just an argument or, ‘you don’t understand I’m not an alcoholic’”.
But Hugh knew he couldn't force Michelle to seek help until she was "ready" and he's delighted she took the necessary steps because it's given them a "second chance".
He said: "We tried getting Michelle into rehab at the end of 2019 and she wouldn’t go because she wasn’t ready. So I think all you can do as a loved one is support from a distance but they have to go on the journey themselves.
"There were many times where I could have walked away, it would have been easier. There’s no getting away from it, life with an addict is extraordinarily hard.
"We’ve got a second chance.
"If I go back six months, probably I didn’t think we would have got that chance because she was so bad and her health was so worrying to see on a daily basis.
"It's a great outcome for us because it could have really gone the other way. I hoped I’d get my wife back to some degree but really in my heart of hearts I never thought I’d get her back to the person she is.”
Michelle emotionally apologised to her husband.
She said: “I want to say sorry. Thank you.”
'Lorraine' airs on weekdays at 9am on ITV and ITV Player.
