Tess Holiday has figured out what triggered her anorexia.
The 36-year-old model revealed last year she had been shocked to be diagnosed with the eating disorder and she's subsequently documented her recovery, so on the weekend she was quick to let her fans know about a "light bulb moment" she'd had about her issues around food.
Explaining she had an "intrusive thought pop in" while cooking, she said in an Instagram video: "Of course I have a hard time feeding my body. I literally have been told my entire life that I don't deserve to feed my body.
"Like, everyone in my life has always said, 'Are you sure you want to eat that?' 'Don't eat that.' That's just been constant, from the moment that I was plus size, which was 11.
"There's so many people that question whether or not I have, you know, disordered eating, whether or not I struggle with anorexia, and they like to troll me often, and they're like, 'As if you have a hard time feeding your body!' And anyone that's in a larger body knows that we hear that all the time, right?"
"When you have been told your entire life that you don't deserve to feed your body and you are taught to restrict food to not be 'fat,' of course you struggle with feeding your body."
Amid the ups and downs of her recovery, Tess thinks it is "pretty f****** cool" she's on the right path and she no longer listens to her critics.
She said: "It's pretty f****** cool that I am like, starting to try and feed my body and not be hard on myself.
"Yeah, people are still going to call me fat and judge me, but whatever man. My life's great."
Tess shared her revelation in case anyone else "needed to hear that".
She added: "This is not part of my life that I ever thought I would be sharing publicly, but it's been nearly a year since I shared my diagnosis with the world and it's been liberating as hell.
"I get so many messages every single day from the folks who feel seen because of me sharing my story, so many of you have gotten the help that you needed, and to be honest, it's why I shared something so personal to being with."
