Ricky Gervais will perform jokes sitting on a stage toilet when his body breaks down.
The comic, 60, said his back pain and overall physical condition have got so bad he may soon need help in front of audiences to be put on a commode with a blanket over him, with a drip and nurse on standby.
He said in a talk to promote his upcoming Netflix special 'SuperNature': "I love doing stand-up but standing up is the worst bit of it, as I have got a bad back.
“So, I think soon I’ll just be on a commode. It’ll be a little blanket on me, I will be going, and they won’t even know – there’ll be a nurse with the drip. They’ll think it’s blood but it’s red wine.
"And then now and again, I’ll just go, 'Empty it!' That's how I see my future in stand-up. You've got to have a dream."
The 'After Life' and 'The Office' creator added he is still so amazed at his popularity he stays grounded.
Gervais, who lives in London with his long-term writer partner Jane Fallon, 61, said: "I never try to be above the audience. I'm an idiot.
"I go out there and I look awful. I'm fat and I'm old and I'm going to die from drinking beer. And I'm rubbish. And I think they appreciate that."
It comes after Gervais admitted he has drank every day for years and is "pre-diabetic" and "pre-everything".
He also told NBC's 'Today' show about his refusal to stop making close-to-the-bone quips: "I make fun of everything in humanity with no prejudice.
"That's what comedy’s for, it gets us over bad stuff. Things aren't frightening anymore.
"When you're dealing with, you know, famine, AIDS, cancer, Hitler, those dudes are evergreen. Yeah, so they're not going to, they don't date.
"I deal with taboo subjects because I want to take the audience to a place it hasn't been before and there is a tension.
"And I think people get offended when they mistake the subject of a joke with the actual target.
"Smart people know you can deal with anything, particularly when dealing with something like irony."
