Monday, December 5, marks the one year anniversary of when Nick Cannon and Alyssa Scott lost their young son, Zen Scott Cannon.
The Wild 'n Out star paid tribute to his late son in the early hours of Monday. Along with a carousel of photos of Zen, one of which included Cannon holding his baby boy, the television personality candidly opened up about how much he has been struggling since the tragic loss.
"Physically I’m definitely on the mend but Mentally and Spiritually I’m broken," he admitted on Instagram after his 5-month-old son died from brain cancer. "Been tossing and turning all night, and as much as I know I need rest, last night I couldn’t sleep at all."
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Cannon shared that he "can’t believe it’s been a year already since the toughest day of my life occurred," pointing out: "Such a painful anniversary."
Acknowledging that "Losing a child has to be the heaviest, most dark and depressive experiences that I will never get over," Cannon explained, "A mixture of guilt, pain, and sorrow is what I suppress daily."
Cannon admitted that while he is "far from perfect and often fall short and make decisions in my life that many question," he loves with his whole heart. "I love hard, I love big and I love with my entire Heart and Soul and I just wish my Little Man could've felt more of that love while he was here on Earth."
Sharing with his more than six million Instagram followers that one of his spiritual leaders told him he is in the midst of "one of the most challenging seasons" of his life, the leader encouraged him to keep pushing through the pain.
The spiritual leader "encouraged me to be steadfast and know that all of this will only make me stronger, and to not lean on my own understanding but to rely on the peace that surpasses all," continued Cannon. "But let me tell you, it’s tough."
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"I know a few days ago I wrote a post from my hospital bed saying I will be okay and I just needed rest so don’t waste your prayers on me but I can definitely use those prayers right now…" wrote Cannon, referencing his post days prior of him in the hospital after coming down with pneumonia.
Cannon concluded his heartbreaking tribute: "Continue to Peacefully Rest My Son, Zen Scott Cannon. We Love you Eternally."
Following the devastating loss, Scott announced in late October that she is pregnant again, confirming shortly after that Cannon is her baby's father. "This is a MIRACLE & a BLESSING 🤍," the expecting mother captioned naked photos of the coparents in a bathtub.
