By Steve Dinneen
For the last year Twitter has been racking its collective brain to try to unravel what has become known as The Riddle of the Nursing Assistant.
Last December a Tik Tok user called @thisis_bex cross-posted a rather thirsty picture of what we assume to be herself alongside the cryptic caption: “Imagine how good your life would be if you had a 26yo nursing assistant by your side, now replace S with N.”
She then vanished from the platform, leaving confusion in her wake. What on earth could she mean?
Taking the words literally you end up with something like: “Imagise how good your life would be if you had a 26yo surnisg annintast by your nide, sow replace N with S”.
What the hell is a “surnisg annintast”?
“This, for me, remains the biggest unsolved intellectual question of our era,” declared Ranjodh Singh Dhaliwal, without a trace of hyperbole.
Many responded with jokes along the lines of this one by @coeurdepyrite: “I’ve fisally fousd a twesty-nix year old surnisg annintast nhe’n helping me after the ntroke.”
Very funny, but this is no laughing matter.
Let’s first consider some theories that I’m writing off as flat-out wrong.
- “In middle-English, to ‘nurn’ meant to mourn. So a nurning assistant by your side may be taken to imply you – or the person you are caring for – are in the casket being mourned, rather than alive and being nursed” – an interesting but incorrect take by a user called @UileamMcOistin
- “I think it’s like replace South with North. Like turn your whole perspective around. Now be someone’s nursing assistant because you’ve realized how great it will make their life.” – Rory Solomon
- “She means that she would be a Mrs. if she was by your side but if you change the S to an N, she would be a MRN by your side aka a registered nurse!” – @ranjodhd
The riddle of the nursing assistant is clearly one tough cookie, defeating some of the finest minds of our generation.
Someone even tried to take a step up the evolutionary ladder and asked the new ChatGPT AI – but it was equally stumped. “It is not clear what the purpose or context of this statement is,” it said solemnly.
“She is a basilisk and we’re all just lucky that she let us off with an indecipherable puzzle and didn’t look into the lens,” said user @mobleywho.
Even when tracked down several months ago, Bex simply threw up more smoke and mirrors: “It’s meant to be a brain stump,” she lied, obfuscating the truth that was hidden before our very eyes.
A brian stump? That isn’t satisfying. That isn’t the answer to the biggest unsolved intellectual question of our era.
No, the real answer to the riddle of the Nursing Assistant comes from another Twitter user, Chris Romano.
“I think the implied answer to “how good your life would be…” is “so good”, which after swapping S->N would = “no good”, so its a self-deprecating joke of sorts.”
And that’s it. The answer to the riddle, the way past the Sphinx. There are no more mysteries in this world, but at least I can die content.
The post The riddle of the Nursing Assistant: Twitter user finally solves case appeared first on CityAM.
