By Adam Bloodworth
New exclusive data around Valentine’s Day events in London reveals we’re looking for anything but roses and chocolates this year
How about a talk on sexuality from from the perspective of Greek and Latin literature for a Valentine’s Day turn-on? Or one on bisexuality from academic campaigners promoting alternatives to heteronormativity?
It’s certainly not staring into each others’ eyes over dinner. A range of high-brow Valentine’s Day events this year signal that we’re rethinking the much-mocked romantic holiday entirely. There is an event at Conway Hall examining archaeological evidence for Latin romance, one at the Viktor Wynd Museum about erotic folktales of Norway and something at the Guildhall Library about forgotten romantic fiction. Eventbrite lists Valentines events on ‘Is Love Real?’, Love Letters Between Friends and one called No Valentine’s: Back To Self Love. They all point to a more thoughtful, and frankly less sexual, way of marking the day.
“It seems that the traditional concept of Valentine’s Day with flowers, wine and chocolate boxes feels increasingly outdated – and maybe too simplistic – to some,” says Sebastian Boppert, who works at Eventbrite and has analysed this year’s Valentine’s Day events for City A.M. “We are seeing a wider variety of non-traditional valentine’s events compared to previous years. These include alternative experiences like Valentine’s games nights, ghost tours, and craft beer and dessert pairings, as well as more cerebral events like group discussions around what love is, self-love circles, love letter writing workshops, and spiritual journeys using cacao ceremonies and gong or sound baths.”
Boppert puts this trend down to “a growing group of people who are looking for more meaning” on Valentine’s Day – essentially, just something different. Stats also suggest a flurry of behavioural changes around romance which could affect the way we view Valentine’s Day.
There are signs people are turning away from it altogether. Stats show that Gen Z are way less likely than Millennials to celebrate the day, and almost half of them would rather spend V-Day with friends than someone they’re dating. Data also tells us that Gen Z aren’t prioritising romantic relationships in the same way people used to. They’re more pragmatic about sex, more open to exploring non-traditional relationships, and more likely to work on themselves rather than rush into marriage.
“I think the chocs and flowers has had its day!”
Google searches for Valentine’s Day were at their lowest last year since at least 2004, when traffic data began, and searches have steadily declined over the past five years.
The ‘death’ of Valentine’s Day is hardly anything new. ‘Anti-Valentines’ parties in London date back to at least 2012, when it was in vogue to shit on your ex partners at provocatively-named club nights as an alternative way of ‘celebrating’ the day. Perhaps the growth of ‘good’ break-ups, and the widening of conversations about what a relationship should actually look like, and how we think about our exes, means younger people are turned off from this sort of aggressive response.
It’s not just about love: Eventbrite has also noticed an uptick in “more serious, reflective events” year-round. So if you’re planning a typical Valentine’s night tonight, be ready for your partner to interrupt the kissing and ask philosophical questions about your relationship.
Maria Beadell, a London events planner who is running a prostitutes of Covent Garden walking tour on Valentine’s Day this year, is one such event planner encouraging people to do something different this Valentine’s Day. “People are generally bored of the tried and tested matchmaking and romantic dinner scenarios and want something sexy or quirky and unusual,” she says. “I think the chocs and flowers has had its day!”
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