DEAR ABBY: My wife and I have been teachers since 1999. We married in 2011. She became vegan in 2017. It helped her beat diabetes, which I love. However, she’s pure vegan for animal rights and listens to vegan podcasts all day long after teaching and on the weekends. I mean all day, EVERY day with earbuds in. I have to say, “Knock, Knock” to even talk with her.
Right now, she’s listening to podcasts and messaging vegan people on social media and doesn’t even realize I’m typing. I love my wife, but I can’t escape the frustration of not being able to have a conversation with her about anything.
We have no kids together, but I raised her son from 7 years old. He moved to live with his dad because of her obsessions with work and veganism. I love her, but the fridge is filled with kale. Should I stay, or should I go? -- AFTERTHOUGHT IN OREGON
DEAR AFTERTHOUGHT: Tap your wife on the shoulder and ask her to remove her earbuds. When she does, give her an earful. Tell her you love her but you need a partner who is willing to be more of a companion than she has become. Tell her you shouldn’t have to ask permission to talk to her because of her preoccupation (obsession) with her podcasts.
If you want food in the house that isn’t vegan, go out and buy some. And if she’s unwilling or unable to accept and adapt, try marriage counseling before calling a lawyer. The marriage you have described is not a happy one, or you wouldn’t have written to me.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
