DEAR AMY: I am a single man in my mid-40s.
During the pandemic I started talking with a woman (online). We texted a lot and called one another often. We’ve also video chatted.
Our relationship sort of fell off the grid, but recently she got back in touch with me. We finally agreed that it was time to meet in person.
We agreed on the place and time to meet halfway between our homes.
The morning of our meeting I got a text from her saying that she was having to go into the hospital for tests. I was very concerned and asked if she was all right and if there was anything she needed from me.
She said no.
After that she basically pulled away. Several weeks later, after I pressed the idea of meeting again, she told me that she has cancer and is undergoing treatments and she doesn’t want to see me or be in touch.
This all seems so strange. I don’t know how to process this.
What do you think?
– Concerned
DEAR CONCERNED: If she is ill and doesn’t want to see you, you have to respect her decision. This is tough.
However, I think there is also a possibility that she has created a fiction and has strung you along, and is now using this as a reason to sever ties with you.
Generally, it is wisest to meet in person soon after you feel a connection online. This helps to test whether both parties really want personal involvement.
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
