DEAR AMY: My husband and I have a very sweet 8-year-old son. His dad and I adore him. We’re having a great time going through life together.
Recently he has been emotional and sensitive. He has said several times that he doesn’t want to grow up. When I ask him why, he says he’ll miss all of the things we do together, like reading together before bed and cuddling with us, and doing “little boy things.”
I don’t know if I should be concerned about this, or even how to respond.
Any suggestions?
– Concerned Mom
DEAR CONCERNED: This is a fairly common phase for children at this age, especially for sensitive and expressive kids like your son.
Some children going through this phase will ask their parents, “When I grow up, can I marry you?” This reflects their strong and loving attachment.
I remember going through this phase as a child, telling my mother that I was never going to move away from home. (As an adult, I believe this prospect would not have been on my mother’s wish list.)
I recall her response as being kind and reassuring.
Heading into adolescence can be a pretty scary prospect. Hormonally, socially, and intellectually your son is sailing into choppy waters, and even if he doesn’t know what’s ahead, on a deep level – he understands that change is on the horizon.
Ask him, “What are the things you love the very most about being a kid?”
Listen to his answers and reminisce with him.
You might also ask him if there are things about growing older that make him nervous.
And then tell him that none of these good experiences will end or change unless he wants them to, and that your family will share lots of other wonderful experiences together as he grows older.
If your reassurance doesn’t comfort him, or if his anxiety seems to expand, you should consider having him evaluated by a psychologist.
***
DEAR AMY: The letter about DNA from “Unsure” revealed that her dad was not her biological father.
I recently found out that my half-brother is not biologically related to me at all.
My dad and stepmom used a sperm donor 36 years ago to bring one of my absolute favorite people into the world.
It was a shock when I found out that we weren’t related by blood, but he is 100 percent the brother I love!
– JD
DEAR JD: This is my favorite kind of DNA disclosure story. Thank you!
(You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.)
