DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a mom of four teenagers, and so am at the grocery store quite frequently. The hardworking employees who try to balance the number of people in line often ask me to go to the express line even if I have a few too many items.
I have had to start telling them no, I will not, because so many people have been openly nasty to me about having too many items to qualify for the express line. It is even worse when people glare without saying anything. No one should assume the worst about their fellow shoppers.
GENTLE READER: As you and Miss Manners both understand, the employee’s intent is to speed shoppers on their way by increasing efficiency. They are likely to be following instructions.
But Miss Manners agrees with you that the benefit is not worth the personal abuse. It is yet another example of how everyone loses when often-incorrect snap judgments take the place of good manners.
She would only add that there is no reason to be short with the employee: Be explicit that you are going to stay where you are because you have, in the past, been yelled at by fellow customers when you get in express lines with the wrong number of items.
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(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
