DEAR ABBY: This is the third time I have received a gift of a political book from my brother-in-law! We are poles apart politically. It came with a message to “please read the book THIS time.” He is expecting a book report and discussion of the book when he next visits.
He started doing this several years ago after my sister died. She used to keep him politically in check, but he has become increasingly obnoxious and emboldened. I have tried tactfully responding that I do not enjoy reading political books, that I do not approve of name-calling, that those who disagree with us are not “stupid” and we just need to accept our differing viewpoints.
There is no way to have a rational political discussion with him. I’m trying to preserve family unity, which is very important to me. My brother wants to threaten him to stop harassing me. My son and his wife suggested sending him things that reflect MY political philosophy.
What do you think I should do? I waver between anger and laughter. By the way, I sent him a box of chocolate chip cookies, which he loves, for the holidays. -- HARASSED IN OHIO
DEAR HARASSED: Your brother-in-law is not going to change. Unless you are willing to tolerate his political browbeating into eternity, return the book and “postpone” his next visit indefinitely. Continue sending him his chocolate chip cookies ONLY if he agrees to quit sending you political literature. Family unity may be important to you, but your late sister’s husband has distanced himself, and that is no one’s fault but HIS OWN.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
